My God, Where is the Peloton?

Our Tales from the Peloton! correspondent, Giraud LeBlanc caught up with rider Jacob Dodgsen after the Sugarland Criterium in Houston, Texas. Jacob was coming off a disappointing sprint in Coldspring and found himself unable to catch onto the lead group in the Sugarland 4/5s.

TFTP: Jacob, can you assess in your own words how you felt about your results this weekend?

Jacob: Well, it was pretty disappointing really, I know that I’m in good form, but I just lacked the kick yesterday. Today though, I just wasn’t aggressive enough early on to get myself in the top group of racers. Our chase group worked together well, but we just didn’t have enough to chase them down.

TFTP: Would you say you’re disappointed by these results?



Jacob: Yes, that's what I just said.

TFTP: We’re also curious as to the big elephant in the room that no-one is talking about, the return of French time trial specialist Christophe Collíns.

Jacob: Well, I rode with Christophe a few days ago and he seemed to be in good spirits. He’s been off the bike a while so he’s got some catching up to do, but hopefully we’ll seem out there being competitive again here shortly.

TFTP: So, what are your post-race plans?

Jacob: Currently, I’m none too pleased, so I intend to head out early, drive back to Austin and play some Halo. Shoot some people in the face, that sort’ve thing.

TFTP: Well, I guess then that answers my next question about you and Maria Sharapova.

Jacob: What are you saying?

TFTP: Uh, just that getting angry about sucking in a race and then releasing that anger by playing violent video games is a typically single male thing to do.



Jacob: And how do you release your stress huh? Parade around the Champs-Elysee drinking fine wine until you forget your miseries? Shopping in your effeminate high end retailers? Gambling in Monaco? Being a creep at a nude beach? You little swine, you-

TFTP: Mr. Dodgsen, please contain yourself. Such anger after sucking it up in a race is normal.

Jacob: Suck? You cowardly pissant! You don’t know a thing do you! You don’t tell me how I did, you sniveling little ingrate, I swear-

TFTP: Mr. Dodgsen, contain yourself!

Jacob: You listen here LeBlanc! I’m sick of you reporter types. All up in my face? How’d you Jacob? How’d you do? I’ll tell you Jacob, you sucked! And you play video games to relieve stress, just all the other single American slobs! Why not eat some cake to go with it? Well maybe I will! You piss me off! Question this, assume that! Ask ask ask ask, blah blah blah blah-

TFTP: So I take it you don’t want to share your thoughts on Simeoni returning the Italian Champions jersey?