Jacob: Philippe Gilbert, Nikolas Vogondy, Sylvain Chavanel!
Philippe: Ah, Jacob, how nice to see you.
Jacob: What brings ya’ll to Texas?
Slyvain: The GS Tenzing Crit of course.
Nikolas: It seems so ripe for a flyer, we just couldn’t resist.
Jacob: Flyer hmmmm…might be worth my while.
Philippe: Oh, it’s always worth it. It’s ballsy, it looks good, and occasionally it just might work.
Jacob: Hmmm…just might work.
Slyvain: We were planning on one later, perhaps you would like to join?
Jacob: This might be possible.
The race proceeds somewhat uninterestingly, primes are tossed about, but none come Jacob’s way. A water bottle that was tossed takes an awkward bounce and flies back into the peloton, and a minivan got on the course, but other than that it was a pretty relaxing hour, with Slyvain showing photos of his latest vacation to Mont Saint-Michel.
Slyvain: And then, a couple hours later, it was an island again!
Nikolas: Fascinating! And it does this everday?
Slyvain: Yes! It’s the current of the ocean, it makes the place so very defensible.
Philippe: Incredible, Jacob, have you ever heard such things?
Jacob: Indeed I have, but witnessed it, I have not.
Slyvain: Oh, you should be sure to visit sometime.
Jacob: I’m actually going to Hawai’i in a few days.
Philippe: Oh, how interesting!
Jacob: I’ll be biking and swimming and sundry other activities.
Nikolas: Oh, that sounds grand!
Slyvain: He guys, it’s almost time for a flyer.
Philippe: Just a few laps left? I’m more of a 50k flyer type of guy myself, but if everyone’s doing it I guess I might as well…
Nikolas: Oh, join it’ll be fun. Jacob, you coming?
Jacob: Hmm…only two laps left, eh, it just be able to work…
Slyvain: Bonne, off we go!
And like the three musketeers of old, except with an American and a Belgian amidst them, and four instead of three, they attacked.
Slyvain: Quite the gap we’ve got!
Jacob: Yes, but here’s two riders bridging.
Nikolas: Just over one lap to go.
Philippe: We can work with the other two maybe?
Jacob: No good, one dropped off and I can’t quite match the acceleration of the other.
Nikolas: Just this right turn to start the last lap and…
Slyvain: The wind!
Philippe: Ah! It blows us to pieces!
Nikolas: Mon dieu!
Slyvain: C’est terrible!
Philippe: Oh, what catastrophe!
Jacob: Gah! We’ve been overtaken, and can’t accelerate
Nikolas: Waaaaaah!
Philippe: Where’d Nikolas go?
Slyvain: The wind has taken him!
Philippe: Oh, poor soul!
The lamentations continued. Though full of typical Jacobean dash and bravado, ultimately the move was not successful. In hindsight, tactically it just wasn’t too smart.
At least you tried. Beats placing 30th because all you did was sit in the middle of the pack the entire race, right?
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