17.4.09

That Curious Steed

Armed with a borrowed time-trial bike, zipp wheels, and some suave shoe covers, Jacob set out to crush the time-trial.

Jacob began riding like a man possessed. Not because of his single-mindedness and relentless drive, but because the 23mph crosswinds were whipping the snot out of his nose and the spittle from his mouth. Soon though, he turned into the wind and got a nice rhythm going, spinning a small gear…

Jacob: Alright, good work Jacob, you’re passing guys. Then again, they’re only ones whom you’ve already beaten on an admittedly bad day. Keep passing. Smile! The dimples reduce wind drag. Bah! I should have shaved, this beard is costing me 20 seconds. It’s worth it though! It goes well with the flannel. I wish I was a better time trialist.


Jacob: The Chicken!?
Rasmussen: The very same Jacob. I can make you a better time-trialist.

Jacob: No Michael! Not like that!
Rasmussen: It’s what you need Jacob, nothing else can help you.
Jacob: No, I am strong. I am aero, I can ride rock this TT.
Rasmussen: No you can’t. Have you seen your thighs? They are so small.
Jacob: Compact! Efficient! Speak for yourself!
Rasmussen: Weak, you cannot do well here. I became a good enough time trialist, despite my meager frame, you can too.

Jacob: Lies!
Rasmussen: Such a little gear for such little thighs!
Jacob: No! I will not listen to you!
Rasmussen: Join me! And together we can rule the ProTour, as-
Jacob: No! That’s impossible!
Rasmussen: Yes, feel the anger, let it course through you, soon you will –

Rasmussen had been blown off Jacob’s shoulder. Finally, Jacob had reached the turn around point, and with the wind at his back he flew down the course. The words of Rasmussen may have cut him deep, but despite turning in what he thought was the time trial of his life, the results cut him deeper. Only mid-field. Rasmussen was right.

Would Jacob dope himself to the gills for the final stage? Will he Roman Feillu his was to GC contention? Will he have more freaky visions inspired by the seven hour drive to Ft. Davis? Tune in sometime in the near future to find out!

No comments:

Post a Comment