We Might As Well Attack

Knowing that yesterday, only circumstance prevented him from laying the hurt on everyone, as well as apparently getting a silly regulation, Jacob returned to the racing scene this Sunday morning to exact some vengeance. Having only the loyal Italian Jonathan Caputon by his side, Jacob was determined to at least make himself feel like puking, and maybe someone else would puke too.

MSU had used their allotted scholarship money in helping to get Johann Bruyneel his masters in International Business Administration, and he was now a fellow B race. The two exchanged some prerace pleasantries.


Johann: I can speak six languages you know.
Jacob: You might as well lose Johann.
Johann: You might as well stuff a Pearl Izumi attack sock in it Jacob, I will dismantle you by the time the day is done. In fact, I will ride the whole race with no hands on my handlebars, just to show you up.
Jacob: You might as well put your kit on Johann.
Johann:Smeerlap!

Resolved to make Johann pay for his insolence, Jacob went from the first corner, as the field was left in disarray after his stunning attack. They quickly composed themselves though, and caught him after half a lap. Returning to the pack, Johann gave Jacob a wry smile and an MSU rider went off the front, where he would stay. His attack had split the group, and though two MSU riders were off the back, they were gaining quickly.

Johann: Hahahaha, look at what we can do with all these people. One off the front, two in the chase, and two working their way back up. You have nothing left to do but attack!
Jacob: Looks like you and I were thinking the same thing!



And so he attacked. To no avail. Tired from this opening salvo, Jacob had his trusty Italian strongman Caputon take the front for a while, and he went back to receive further mocking by Johann.

Johann: You see Jacob, there is nothing that you can do. You attack our break and we just sit on your wheel! It’s all my plan, aren’t I brilliant!
Jacob: But are you as brilliant as you strong!?


And so he attacked. To no avail.

Johann: Hehehe, a UT rider breaking away sure would be a good idea, odds are against it though.
Jacob: Never tell me the odds!

And so he attacked. To no avail.

Johann: His lead is growing, no one will take the front, ahahaha!
Jacob: Then tonight, we dine in hell!

And so he attacked. To no avail.

Johann: The MSU riders in the break outnumber UT riders two to one, ahahaha! There’s nothing you can do!
Jacob: Then it is a fair fight!

And so he attacked. To no avail.

Weary from constant attacking, the fact that it was a hard race, running low on his supply of inspiring yet insipid one-liners, and distressed that his most recent quote had revealed an all too nerdy side of himself, Jacob sat in. For the last two laps. After which he was outsprinted by an MSU rider and placed 8th. MSU had 5 in the top 7. Jacob did not talk to Johann after the race. In fact, he was so tired, he wouldn't write on his blog for almost a week.